I found myself.

During school, keeping up with trends and being normal was an important part to making friends. In this pandemic, I have found myself. While I was in school I remember feeling pressured to keep up with all the trends, never look different. Even though I hated it, I still would wear tight sport leggings and a short shirt. I tried to make friends and be popular, but it never worked. I got so worked up over not being able to be cool that I eventually just gave up. I guess I went into a depressive state and stopped trying.
After a few months of not trying and using terrible coping mechanisms, covid hit. I was a little relieved saying that I didn’t have to see anyone and no one would know. I would skip all my classes and keep to myself. I disconnected from all of my classmates/friends (besides my closest friends). Since I was always on social media, I started to see different clothing styles! I found ones that were different and “weird”, super cool! I really loved gothic and pastel clothing, something I really wanted. I ended up starting to dress that way and felt comfortable in my own skin! After dressing up and doing my make-up the way I wanted, I gained a lot of confidence! I also ended up questioning my sexuality and gender. Even though I’m so young I just go with the flow. I see myself however I want and date whoever I want. I’m so proud of myself for being able to do this. I know how much harder it can be for other people, so I’m just so grateful it’s happened this early.
Finding myself was definitely the best part of this journey of a pandemic. It’s so nice just being myself and I’ve loved myself more than ever.

Malin Kirkbride


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